I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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