Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Operation Purity has been aborted
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
