Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
