a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
