Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
