just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
