It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
