sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
