My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
