I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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