No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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