I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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