Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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