We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
