they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
