Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I party with great urgency now.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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