My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
