the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
