You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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