i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
