we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
