I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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