how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
