i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
