I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize