I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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