Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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