ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
