I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
