We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
