I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
You ate ashes out of my bong
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
