No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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