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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.

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• (760): View more from California

  I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (251): View more from Alabama

  I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.

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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.

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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.

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• (763): View more from Minnesota

  Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.

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• (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (573): View more from Missouri

  So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40

  (417): View more from Missouri

  I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers

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• (207): View more from Maine

  I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.

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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes

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• (206): View more from Washington

  I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.

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