i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that