I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
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I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
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So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.