Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(615): View more from Tennessee

arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life

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(828): View more from North Carolina

everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.

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23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
Read it at the TFLN blog
(612): View more from Minnesota

And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.

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(330): View more from Ohio

I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.

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(708): View more from Illinois

Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?

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(785): View more from Kansas

The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.

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(801): View more from Utah

the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me

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