it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
