Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
