god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
