she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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