I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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