You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
