i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
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