guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
