Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
