she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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