My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
