we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
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i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
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Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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