I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
