The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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