Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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