I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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