So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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