can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
