Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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