Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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