At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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