Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
You may now shotgun with the bride
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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