how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
