you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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