You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
