did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
