you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Randomize
