Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
The power of my boobs compel you
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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